Thankfulness (is that a word?)

I haven't posted in a while mostly because I have been busy and haven't felt like it. I hate to post something negative so I don't. Let me explain.

I have had an awakening of sorts in the last month or so. I have had three funerals to attend in the last two months. All men in the prime of their lives. Not related deaths, btw. The first was a manager at my last job. He was sick with esophagal cancer and was fighting it. The last time I saw him was when I was laid off. He seemed well then and I had emailed with him a few times since and talked a couple times on the phone. I was sad to hear he lost his fight with cancer.

The second one really hit me hard. This fellow and I were colleages. We had worked together for many years. He always was a "higher up" than I but he was a friend. He pretty much got me in at my last job where he was the general manager at the time. He said he didn't do anything but give HR my resume, but that was enough. He was promoted to VP of welding over a year ago and I hardly saw him, but we had mutual friends and even had a group of us that would have lunch together whenever we could all manage it. He was a dynamic man. Everyone I know liked him. He was smart and so friendly and engaging. He always brightened a room when he came in. He made everyone feel special. He was one of a kind. He also was only 39 yrs old. (I think) He had a beautiful wife and two small children and he was very involved in their sports and such. Being a coach for his daughters soccer team, etc. He was in great shape and very attractive to boot. He had an injury that lead to his hobbling around and then developed a blood clot. They knew about it. The doctor told him to take aspirin to break it up. One Friday evening he was out to dinner with his family and took his 6 yr old son to the bathroom and collapsed right in front of his son and died. The blood clot broke loose and went to his heart and killed him instantly. It was sudden and unexpected. I miss him so much and I always will. I can't get him out of my thoughts.

The third was a friend and our mechanic to boot. He died last week in a freak motorcycle accident. It was dark and the road curved and he missed the curve and slid on some gravel. He was only 38.

I have had an awakening in my own life and my own mortality because of the last month. I am feeling extremely vulnerable and aware of my shortcomings. I am extremely aware of the importance of making every day count.

I am in terrible shape. I am the heaviest in my life and I feel very uncomfortable in my body. I asked myself...Do I want to live like this for the rest of my life? The answer was no. I decided then to take action now. No more excuses or waiting for another day to make a change. I drew the line in the sand and made a plan and started.
I started my diet on Monday Nov. 9, 2009. I have lost 9 lbs so far. I am determined to do what I need to to make my life better.
Other than the diet, I am planning several other changes.
Some of them are:

• Exercising on a regular basis to improve my body and my heart.
• Making contact with several people who I have lost contact with.
• Cleaning out my house and getting rid of the excess STUFF.
• Taking online classes to educate for a possible job change in future.
• Take stock of my quilting business and either make a better business plan or sell it.

Tomorrow, I start my thankful posts